Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smiliness
by Quiet Leaf
Summary: The cats who are insane, or supposedly so, get sent to the Asylum if they are determined to be mentally unstable. If they aren't insane already, the smiley faces will probably steal their marbles. (Formerly called Jayfeather's Candles and Jayfeather Candle.) WARNING: This story is completely inaccurate when is comes down to Asylums. Don't read if you find that offensive. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Random idea that my sister gave me. You will find out what it's about.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Skype, or Facebook.**

* * *

><p>"Now Jayfeather." Dr. Cinderpelt shuffled through her papers. "It says here that you have tendency to act… <em>strange<em> around cats under certain circumstances.

Jayfeather nodded normally.

"You are here for a series of tests to make sure that you are not crazy."

He nodded again.

"Let's begin."

She gave him a candy bar.

He promptly ate it. Nothing happened.

She gave him a ukulele.

Nothing.

After the rest of the tests, he had not reacted in any strange way.

"Well then, Jayfeather, you're good to go."

And that's when the lights went out.

"Oh, must be a problem with the light bulbs." She started to lift the radio she had been given just in case Jayfeather started acting crazy.

And then she heard a voice behind her.

"Don't move a muscle."

She spun around.

There was Jayfeather. He was holding a lit candle below his face.

"Jayfeather, put that down, you'll burn of your fur!"

"What does it matter?" He said in a creepy whisper. "It's a candle. That means fire. And that means candle."

Cinderpelt blinked.

"So, I can hold my candle. Candle means wax, wax means museums filled with wax people, and that means aliens replacing wax people with petrified real people."

"Jayfeather…"

"I am Lord Moldy-shorts, and you, filthy muggle, shall not defy me!"

"Jayfeather stop!" She tried to get to the door, but he blocked her.

"YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS!" He threw his candle on the floor.

A moment later there was a snap. Another flame burst into life, and Cinderpelt noticed him dropping a match on the floor.

"Magic." He smiled at the little flame. "Isn't it _so_ pretty?"

"Um, yes."

"Very well, you may pass." He took off a beard and mustache that Cinderpelt hadn't noticed and stood aside.

She left the room and whispered into her radio, "That's another one for Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness."

"Okay."

"But give him a luxury room with limited contact with his family via Skype or Facebook or something."

"Right. Pulling the lever down in three, two, one." There was a sound of creaking as the lever was pulled.

At the moment, Jayfeather was being automatically strapped to a chair and sent down to Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness. And he was staring at a candle.

* * *

><p><strong>Ta-da! How was that? :) Much different style than usual :) Asylum of Smilieness :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)<strong>

**-Smileyorangekitty**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, this was **_**supposed**_ **to be a one-shot, but some people wanted more… :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors or Harry Potter.**

* * *

><p>"Well." Dr. Cinderpelt looked at a paper. "It says here that you sometimes act strange."<p>

Hollyleaf nodded normally.

"You're here to go through a series of tests so we can see whether or not you're crazy.

She nodded again.

"First, this." Cinderpelt passed Hollyleaf a candy bar. The same test was administered to every crazy seeming person/cat.

Nothing happened.

Ukulele.

Nothing.

Harry Potter book.

Nothing.

Stevia.

Nothing.

Several other things were given to her, but nothing ever happened. Not until the last object.

The last object was different for each cat/person depending on how they acted while crazed.

For Hollyleaf, it was a list of times she and her family had broken the warrior code.

Halfway through reading it, she burst into uncontrollable tears and shoved the list in Cinderpelt's face.

"Look at this! This is terrible, I and my family are an insult to the Clans! I can't live anymore." Hollyleaf removed a pocket knife from her pocket.

_Where did she get that? All weapons are supposed to be removed from subjects!_

Hollyleaf unfolded the knife and pointed it at her heart.

"Hollyleaf!"

She stopped, the knife an inch away from her heart.

"You need to live, if you don't everyone will miss you." _And I could lose my job_, she thought.

The knife fell to the floor and stabbed it.

Cinderpelt picked up the knife and stowed it in her pocket, then left the room.

She lifted her radio to her mouth and said, "she won't be going to Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness, but she must be kept under constant watch or she could end up killing herself."

"Roger that, an escort will bring her home shortly."

* * *

><p><strong>Short, but oh well. Was it good? :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)<strong>

**Stevia is a healthy plant that is about four hundred times sweeter than sugar. Its extract is used as a sweetener, which is great for my family since my dad has diabetes. The stevia was a reference to one of my other stories, for those of you who don't read it. Best of luck to all of you who have something complicated going on. **

**Oh, and thanks for six reviews! Six! In the short amount of time between its posting and now! Cookies to all of you and a Hollyleaf plushy. If you don't like Hollyleaf you can have one of Cinderpelt or Jayfeather instead. (::) (::) (::)**

**-Smileyorangekitty**


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY! HOW ARE YOU? DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A STALKER QUESTION? I DON'T KNOW! Anyway, this chapter will give you an idea about what a luxury room in Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness is like. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE THIS PLACE.<p>

Those were Jayfeather's thoughts after a week of living in the asylum. Everyone in the cells on either side had tendencies to start screaming or saying that they loved eating fur. He knew that he probably did get annoying sometimes, but they could at least _try _to keep it down, he was trying to stare at his candles in peace.

His neighbors happened to be Ashfur and Yellowfang.

Ashfur was the one who screamed, usually the words "flying squirrels" and Yellowfang was the one who said she loved eating fur. They say she went mad trying to remove some mats from her fur.

Jayfeather had no idea how a cat could go mad trying to untangle their fur, but he supposed Yellowfang had already been going mad.

Ashfur, on the other hand- ahem, _paw_- had gone mad simply because he had a broken heart. Or brain.

The "Smiley's" as the staff of Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness were called, were still trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

Really, in his opinion nothing was wrong with him. He was just being random. Or was he?

He sat on his golden bed, which was covered in smiley faces. The bed sheets had smiley faces, the blankets, the pillows and their cases, all covered in smiley faces.

The first thing to pop up on the computer screen was a smiley face. The rug in the middle of the room was a giant smiley face. The chairs had smileys, the table had a smiley face. The face of the clock was a smiley face, the lamp had a smiley face. If the asylum weren't underground, the curtains would have had smiley faces on them. Honestly, it was enough to make anyone go mad. He sometimes suspected that they made cats go mad when they formerly weren't so that they could keep up the business. He took out one of his last candles. The Smiley's supplied candles, but he avoided using them. They were covered in smiley faces. And when you lit them, the flames were shaped like smiley faces.

Jayfeather had no idea how they had pulled this off. Unfortunately, the clothes the Smileys supplied also had smiley faces on them. Some of the female Smileys had smiley faces painted on their nails. Jayfeather winced everytime he saw a toilet. I'm sure you can guess why.

And this is what it's like in Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilieness.

* * *

><p><strong>Would the Asylum drive you nuts? Or would you love it? Tell me in the comments! Sorry if the chapter was repetitive or boring.<strong>

**-Smileyorangekitty**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here, this is called a chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Yellowfang grumbled. A bunch of cats had decided that she needed to be "interrogated" because they thought she was insane.<p>

At the moment, her former apprentice was shuffling through some papers across the table. Yellowfang assumed that the papers were records of her behaviour.

And then Cinderpelt said in that annoying (in Yellowfang's opinion) tone of her's. "Judging by your previous actions, you need to be separated from other cats, however, an interrogation is required."

Yellowfang rolled her eyes. "Just get on with it."

"Right. It says here that you have a tendency to be sharp and prickly to people." _As if I didn't already know that_, she thought. That's when she saw the misty look entering Yellowfang's eyes. She blinked nervously. She had known that she would be running into people/cats that were crazy and dangerous. It didn't make a difference, though.

Yellowfang stood up and said "The fang and Candle shall break out, and all of the smileys will start to pout."

Cinderpelt blinked.

Yellowfang rolled her eyes. Or rather, her eyes rolled out of her head. JUST KIDDING! They did not roll out of her head.

However, Yellowfang did roll around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Then she got up, sat in the same position on her chair that she was in before, and she came out of this trance like state.

"Erm- Yellowfang? What was that about."

Yellowfang blinked. "What?"

As you can see, Yellowfang has no recollection of the event that has happened.

"Wait here." Cinderpelt left the room and spoke into her earpiece. "That's another one for the asylum."

* * *

><p><strong>Gray medicine cats much? Yellowfang of ThunderClan, a gray medicine cat. Cinderpelt of ThunderClan, a gray medicine cat. Jayfeather of ThunderClan, a tabby gray medicine cat. Goosefeather of ThunderClan, a gray speckled medicine cat (from Bluestar's prophecy). Wow.<strong>

**-Smileyorangekitty**


	5. Chapter 5

**As some of you **_**might**_ **have realized, there are two Yellowfangs. No one in the asylum has realized this.**

**WarriorCatsRock (guest): *kills smileys* I can't tell you if they'll break out. XD**

**StormThatSwirlsThroughHeart: Thanks!**

**Blazing Bright Streak of Light: XD GRAY GRAY.**

**Lilyclaw (guest): THE PROPHECY MUST BE OBVIOUS.**

**EradrinSkyleaf: He is a silver-white color :)**

**leefpool: … :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Yellowfang started as the floor beneath her started to sink. Straps flew up around her arm-legs, holding her down. In moments she was rushing down, wind making her fur fly up, getting in her eyes. Finally, her chair stopped at the bottom of a glass tube. (GLASS?)<p>

Yellowfang looked around. She was in a room covered in smiley faces. On the other end was Jayfeather, who had somehow got hold of some wooden smiley faces, which he was burning with a candle. She padded-walked over to him. "What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Burning smiley faces. They are enough to drive you nuts if you aren't already insane." A smiley went up in flames, then fell to the floor in ashes.

Yellowfang saw a faint smiley spirit rise from the ashes and float to the ceiling. It was pouting. Her mouth gaped, but she turned grumpy again almost instantly. "Why did they have to put _me _in here? I'm not insane!"

"I've already accepted my insanity."

"You're insane?"

"Well I must be, because you're in the next cell over and went mad from trying to pull mats out of your fur."

"I what?" Yellowfang had become thoroughly confused. "My fur is perfect." She looked at her back. Her fur was most definitely not perfect, but she didn't bother to correct herself. "There must be two of me. Great StarClan. And _how_ did you get here?"

"The candles. Sometimes I light them and start acting crazy. I'm trying to meditate now, Darth Vader, go away."

Yellowfang blinked. She had never thought Jayfeather the type to go crazy. Then again, it should have been obvious that he would go crazy. She pulled some stevia out of a non-existent pocket in her fur. She managed to steal one of Jayfeather's candles without him noticing and let the stevia go up in flames. She now had stevia flavored smoke. She let the scent fill the room.

A few minutes later some Smiley security guards came in somehow holding up new furniture for Yellowfang. Unfortunately, this furniture was covered in pink and yellow smiley faces. "You would have gotten your own room, but we are running out of cells and we had to put you here with Jayfeather." Th smiley guard explained this to her as if she were a one-moon-old who couldn't understand much. They left after that.

Yellowfang sat on her pink-smiley face chair and thought.

Jayfeather came out of his trance-like state and turned to her. "Yes, there must be two of you, although I don't see how that's possible. StarClan must have done it." He sat on his own blue and yellow smiley chair. "We'll have to investigate."

* * *

><p><strong>Yawn. I'm tired. Bye. Please review.<strong>

**-Smileyorangekitty**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay guys, sorry for not posting, I need a bit of a break, so don't expect me to update often. This is a tiny segment that does not follow the storyline.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, or any asylums in existence.**

* * *

><p>Yellowfang #1 scratched her ear. So many mats in my fur, she thought. I don't doubt that I've gone crazy.<p>

She had been in the asylum for weeks, maybe longer. Had it been years? She started absent mindedly chewing on some of her fur.

She had somehow heard Ashfur yowling from a couple cells away. Something about loving flying squirrels so much he was going to eat them at sundown.

Yellowfang #1's gaze fell on a pile of scraps of fur. The pile had once been a coat which had been covered in grey fur, the same color as her's. After it had been put on her by the smiley guards and they had left, she had torn it to shreds. It had tasted disgusting. She suspected it had been put on her to keep her from eating herself when she ran out of fur, but she hadn't been fooled, the fur was obviously fake.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about shortness.<strong>

**What do you think about my new pen name?**

**-A Leaf in the Wind**


	7. Chapter 7

**Valentines Day special! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Yellowfang woke with a groan. At first, she didn't know why she had groaned. Then she realized that all of the smileys had turned into hearts. It was Valentines day.<p>

Jayfeather was at the other side of the room. Being blind, he obviously had no idea that the flames of the candles he was burning were heart shaped and red instead of smiley faced and yellow.

"Jayfeather…?" Yellowfang muttered grumpily (and tentatively), hoping he wasn't going to yell at her when she was doing him a _favor_.

"What?"

"You _do_ realize that the flame of your candle is bright red and heart shaped…?"

Jayfeather dropped his rose scented candle immediately. The rug went up in heart shaped flames. Even the sparks were heart-shaped. "_**THIS CANNOT BE!**_" the tom cat yowled dramatically.

Yellowfang jumped back from the fire as smiley guards ran in carrying heart shaped fire extinguishers with smiley faces on the front. They put out the roaring heart that was the heart shaped, leaving behind a large white heart.

Meanwhile, Jayfeather continued yowling. "_**HOW WILL I GET THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT MY CANDLES? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN THE FLAMES TURNED SMILEY, AND NOW THEY'RE HEART SHAPED? I'M A MEDICINE CAT, I CAN'T TAKE MATE, AND IT'S VALENTINES DAY!**_"

Yellowfang looked startled. "Calm down."

"_**MY CANDLESSSS!**_"

"_STOP!"_ Yellowfang yowled, temper high. She took some stevia out of her non-existent pocket, and was just about to place them upon a burning candle which had mysteriously gotten into her paw-hand, when the smiley guards dashed in and put out the heart shaped flame with fire extinguishers. They then proceeded to run back out and run back in, carrying a mahogany table on which was a dinner of mice, rabbits, and voles, and had heart shaped candles on it. There was a vase full of roses in the middle.

Yellowfang slapped her forehead with her tail, though she was not sure how her tail had reached that far. A candlelit dinner. Great.

"Jayfeather, shut up!"

He fell silent.

"The smiley's have brought in a candlelit dinner, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"

He shook his head.

"WE. ARE. DOOMED."

"What do the candles look like?"

"HEARTS."

"YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"

Yellowfang shook her head.

"WE. ARE. DOOMED." Jayfeather then started screaming.

Yellowfang shook her head in exasperation and padded over to the table. She took a bit of one of the slightly roasted voles. "This tastes better than the usual food." Most of the asylum food tasted like plants.

"DOOM DOESN'T TASTE GOOD!"

"I'm talking about the food," Yellowfang snapped.

"Oh."

"Come taste some, but you can't have the voles, I want them."

Jayfeather padded over to the table and bit one of the voles. Yellowfang exploded. "I SAID DON'T TAKE THE VOLES!"

"NO, YOU SAID MICE!"

"VOLES!"

"MICE!"

"VOLES!"

"MICE!"

"VOLES!"

"AAAAH!"

"AAAAH!"

And they threw the voles at each other. The voles went into each other's mouths, and they swallowed. "HOW DARE YOU!" they yowled in unison. The argument was resolved when Yellowfang agreed that they should split the shares evenly. Yellowfang secretly took a larger share, since she had split the food as she was the only one of the two of them who could see.

They ate their food at opposite ends of the room, then, after Yellowfang had burned some stevia leaves, they destroyed the candles, grabbed the goblets of stevia water, which they hadn't noticed at first, and drank until they were full of the dinner (Yellowfang fuller than Jayfeather) and fell asleep.

An entire day had passed, and they hadn't noticed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ta-da! How was iiiiiiiiiiit? PLEASEE GIVEE MEEE FEEDBACKEEE<strong>

**Totally random, but I enjoyed writing this, and didn't even get writers block! It was awesomeness!**

**Changed my username for Valentines Day, it will change back. :) It's Friday the thirteenth! XD**

**-Heart Shaped Leaves**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long wait, I was taking my much needed break. It was a lot easier to write this than before, so I'm glad for the break. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>After the Valentine's Day incident, the two cats didn't speak to each other for a few days. They were too ashamed and spent most of their time asking for forgiveness from StarClan for eating Valentine's food. They were medicine cats, after all. She came from the only place where there are castles- Ahem, sorry about that, drifted off, thinking about castles or something.<p>

Jayfeather paced, looking at the door every few steps. He and Yellowfang had assumed themselves forgiven, and were as friendly with each other as they had been before.

Lunch arrived, but Jayfeather didn't eat it. Just because he was a medicine cat didn't mean he was willing to eat… Whatever they were being given. He couldn't call it a meal. This "whatever they were being given" was something yellow and round, with a smiley face. It looked and tasted something like soap, from what Yellowfang had said, and it was on a smiley plate. And then a sudden revelation came to the cat. Maybe the round thing _was_ soap, and the smiley guards thought they were stupid. Or maybe it was the smiley guards who were the stupid ones. If this was the case, it would make escape quite easy, though they would probably be on the run, advertised on the news as being lunatics on a killing spree, or something. He wondered how they would pull that off, no evidence had been provided to show that they were murderers. Jayfeather decided he'd rather not continue down that path and stopped. "Yellowfang!"

"Yes?" She looked up from poking her own "whatever they were being given".

"You know how the food looks and tastes like soap?"

She tipped her head quizzically. "...Yeah?"

"Well, what if it _is_ soap? What if they think we're stupid… Or _they're_ stupid."

The other medicine cat's mouth dropped open. "That would make an easy escape! We could escape with a snap of our fingers… Or a flick of our tails! This calls for celebration!" She started taking out a pipe, some matches, and stevia leaves, but Jayfeather cut her off. "No, we don't know if it's actually soap, and if it is the smiley guards might not be stupid."

"...So we need to test them."

"But how? We might need supplies, what if we don't have them?" Jayfeather said.

An evil grin spread across Yellowfang's face. "I know exactly what to do."

* * *

><p><strong>How'd you like it? Please review! They make me happy and they're motivational. ^-^ Speaking of reviews… FORTY NINE REVIEWS? ALMOST FIFTY! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! THANK YOUUUU!<strong>

**-A Leaf in the Wind**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hellooooo and what do we have here? Fifty two reviews? At eight chapters? That's like, twenty six reviews for four chapters! I love you guys! I'm going to have to throw a party on my inactive forums when the amount of reviews this story has surpasses that of Hypnosis! I'm serious!**

**Disclaimer thingy: I don't own Warriors. It would be funny if I did, because THIS IS A FANFICTION. Note the word "fan". However, I do own a lot of books!**

* * *

><p>Yellowfang had not been lying when she said she knew exactly what to do. After requesting some supplies from the guards, who graciously provided them with the requested items, she first began to test the 'food' to see whether or not it was soap.<p>

Of course, these "supplies" were actually just water, and a stick. One bucket full of water, in which she placed her so-called food and started tapping it and drilling into it. The water had soon become a mass of white and yellow bubbles, and when Yellowfang soaked one of those capsules that turn into sponges in the water and tried scrubbing a dirty patch of floor with it, the tough filth had disappeared to reveal a smiley face.

"It's soap!" she told Jayfeather cheerfully after completing this test. "Now we have to figure out if the guards are dumb." She chipped away at the stick until it was small enough that she could pick the lock on the door, which she somehow managed to do with the piece of delicate wood that was the size of toothpick. After quietly opening the door, she spilled the bucket of water into the hall. "Smileys!"

The guards peered into the room. "Yes?" They seemed unsurprised that the door was already open. That was a good sign.

"I need a sponge and soap to clean up the soap and water I spilled on the floor."

One of the guards nodded. "Of course, always use a sponge to clean floors and a mop to clean dishes." With that, he padded (walked?) away and returned a few minutes later with a shirt and a rock. He held up the rock and said "sponge" then held up the shirt and said "soap". After this, he accidentally stationed himself at the entrance to Ashfur's cell instead of theirs (Yellowfang and Jayfeather's) and forgot to give them the 'sponge' and the 'soap'. The other guard just stood there, staring up at the smiley covered ceiling.

Yellowfang skipped (yes, skipped) gleefully back into the cell, taking care to leave the door locked in case a smart guard checked up on them only to find the door unlocked. "They're stupid! I can't believe they were even hired! I mean, who hires stupid guards?"

Jayfeather leapt to his feet (paws) and tripped over a smiley stool. After regaining his dignity, he straightened up. "Good. Now we just have to figure out how we're going to escape. An evil grin spread across his face, even though cats can't grin, but it disappeared moments later to be replaced by a frown. "But, if we do escape, we'll be on the run, and if we get caught while or after escaping, there will probably be higher security on our cell, we might even be separated so that it doesn't happen again."

"Good point. We'll just have to make sure we don't get caught. Now let's stop dragging out this conversation so the readers won't get bored."

"Yeah…"

Yellowfang flicked her ear to ward of a smiley face spider.**(1)** "Anyway…"

"It's time to start planning our escape," Jayfeather finished for her.

* * *

><p><strong>(1)- Look 'em up. They exist.<strong>

**Muhahahaha… Yep, they're on their way to escape! Of course, this won't be the end of it. Oh no, this fic has to continue, or so help me I will DIE. Jk.**

**Please review! It warms my heart every time I receive one and guilt trips me into writing. Seriously.**

**-A Leaf Made Through Alchemy**


	10. Chapter 10

**And now, the chapter you've all been waiting for!**

**On another now, thanks for all the reviews! And also… This is chapter TEN! *celebrates in a corner***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Jayfeather paced back and forth. He knew it was unwise, but he wanted to escape with bang. Maybe literally, because if they wanted a bomb they could probably just make one of the guards go get one. He smirked, even though cats probably can't do that.<p>

"Well, we could explode the place," Yellowfang suggested as if she had read his mind.

"I don't think that would work too well, we could get caught in the wreckage." It seemed Jayfeather's logical side was pulling through.

"Yeah… I'm getting hungry." She padded to the door and opened it. "Hey, guards! Can we get some voles in here?"

"Yeah…" One of them said. He brought in a few mice.

Yellowfang shook her head in disgust, rolling one of the rodents over. "They can't even tell the difference between a vole and a mouse, Don't they use their noses?"

Jayfeather shrugged. "I thinks that's unlikely." He flicked his ear when he felt an ever-so-slight breeze. "And they left the door wide open. Maybe we can escape quietly, promise the guards chocolate in exchange for them not telling anyone we've escaped, because not everyone here is as dumb as they are." He padded over to the door and sniffed the mice. As luck would have it (or bad luck?), he accidentally tipped over the bucket of soapy water. By now Yellowfang's block of soap had completely dissolved, and when he (Jayfeather) slipped in the water, he began to slide down the hall, faster and faster.

"Jayfeather! Where do you think you're going?" Yellowfang yowled as she stepped outside the cell. And then she slipped too, and began sliding down the hall, faster and faster.

After a time of sliding and trying to no avail to stop, Yellowfang say the doors to the Asylum ahead, and briefly wondered why they were in plain site and made of clear glass, before yowling again. "Jayfeather, the doors are in front of you! You need to push them open!"

"I can't see!" The tom flailed for a moment. "Okay, I can do this!" And that's when he slapped into the doors. Which didn't shatter. Yellowfang wasn't sure whether or not that was a bad thing.

"Well well well, it looks like a few of our prisoners were trying to escape." Yellowfang managed to turn around to face the bubbly cheerful voice in time to avoid smashing into the doors face first. "And here I thought we had perfect security," the she-cat said, frowning. "You." She flicked her tail at a guard behind her. "Go get the guards for these two's cell."

"Yes ma'am." The cat dashed off in the direction the two "insane" cats had just come from, slipping occasionally on the soapy floor before deciding to stay off of that part.

The cats sitting in front of the doors stayed silent for a moment as Jayfeather unstuck himself from the glass, then the she-cat spoke. "Why would you try to escape my lovely asylum?"

Yellowfang looked at her with skepticism. "Lovely? You call this place beautiful?"

"Why yes, of course I do! I have all these nice smiley faces to keep everyone happy at all times, and we celebrate holidays here!"

"So…?" Jayfeather asked.

Just then the guard sent to fetch the two "insane" cat's guards returned with with the two idiots trailing behind him. "I have returned with the requested cats," he said as he took his place behind the owner of the asylum.

"Very good, very good. Now, tell me, smileys, why you allowed these prisoners to escape? They almost made it out of the building. You know how bad my reputation would become if that happened?"

One of the "insane" cat's guards blinked and tipped his head to the side. "Uh… You reputa-something-or-other would get really good?"

"No, you idiot!" The she-cat slapped him, then turned briefly back to the others. "My name is Smiley, by the way."

Jayfeather's mouth dropped open. "Why do you have such a stupid name?" he blurted.

"Hey!" Smiley pouted, even though cats probably can't do that. "It's not stupid! It's just…" She seemed unable to come up with a word to describe his name, however, so she trailed off.

Jayfeather smirked, and Smiley turned back to the guards. "So, why did you let them escape?"

"I thought they were just going for a walk," one of them piped up.

Smiley stared at them. "You're both fired."

The two guards padded over to the door and bumped into the glass while Smiley shook her head, wondering how they had ever been hired. The two former guards took up the sense to open the door, and Jayfeather and Yellowfang made a mad dash to get there before it closed, but before they had even touched the glass, they were restrained by a couple of Smiley's guards. "Now, now. We can't have you escaping. Take them back to their cell, and try to keep the from communicating."

"Yes ma'am."

And that's how they failed on their first attempt at escape.

* * *

><p><strong>Muhahahaha! You didn't think I'd let the out that easily, did you?<strong>

**Special thanks to leefpool for giving me the 'slipping on soap' idea!**

**-Leafdapple3**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello! I'm not dead, but I went on a non-existent metaphorical vacation and brought back a souvenir, it's called a "chapter" and I brought it back just for you guys! Enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Jayfeather sighed. Without Yellowfang to keep him company, he was bored out of his mind, and he was unable to distract himself from Ashfur's screaming and the other Yellowfang's loud ramblings about fake fur and real fur tasting different.<p>

With nothing better to do, he contacted Hollyleaf to make sure she hadn't killed herself, and Lionblaze to ask if he could please send him a pile of unsorted herbs to organize. Unfortunately, such a pile of herbs was unavailable, and he had to remain in his cell with absolutely nothing to do. Nothing to do except trying to contact Yellowfang.

He padded over to his computer and looked up "Yellowfang" on Skype. Don't ask me how he could see the screen.

Unfortunately, she didn't show up in the results.

Then another thought came to mind. Maybe the crazy Yellowfang and the not-crazy Yellowfang had a telepathic link! He ran to the wall that he thought the crazy Yellowfang was on the other side of. "Hey! Yellowfang!"

"Squirrelflight? Is that you?"

Realizing his mistake, Jayfeather ran to the other side of the room. "Yellowfang!"

"You haven't come to give me more fake pelts, have you?" a suspicious voice answered from the other side of the wall.

Jayfeather blinked and shook his head, then, remembering that the cat couldn't see him, said, "No, no, I was just asking if you shared a telepathic link with the the other Yellowfang? Wait, do you even know she's here?"

"Of course I know about her, with all the racket you two make. And, as far as I know, I don't own any fur, I mean, I don't have any telepathic links. But I haven't tested. If I haven't found out by tomorrow, I'll assume I don't. Bye!"

Jayfeather sighed again, then walked away from the wall and sat on his bed. He had nothing to do but wait.

If only he hadn't run out of candles earlier.

* * *

><p>Yellowfang (the sane one) sighed. Without Jayfeather here to pester, stevia leaves to burn, or candles to burn them with, there was nothing to do. Nothing to do at all.<p>

Except lying on her bed, talking to herself, or trying to make small talk with her next door neighbors.

Goosefeather was very difficult to talk to. He foretold every other sentence she spoke as a sign from StarClan, an omen of death or whatnot. And Hawkfrost was just boring. It was always "kill this" and "get revenge on that."

So, she sat there in unaccompanied silence, waiting for a chance to get out… Or just have something to do. Well, talking to Hawkfrost was at least something. She stood from her chair and padded (walked?) to the wall, on the other side of which she could hear mutterings of "Brambleclaw" and "pay for what he did."

She cleared her throat. "Hawkfrost?"

"What do you want, mange-pelt? Can't keep her fur clean- Fleas and ticks- Should be in a salon-"

Yellowfang rolled her eyes. _Great StarClan, he's rude._ "I just wanted to talk."

"Whatever," the other cat muttered. She could practically see him slouching away, probably burning posters with Brambleclaw on them.

She sighed again and padded back to her chair and sat down, waiting for the opportunity to do something to arrive.

* * *

><p>The Yellowfang who <em>is<em> crazy sighed in annoyance. She had received two more fake pelts since the last time she had been given one, and they were starting to irritate her, physically and mentally. She got the idea that she was allergic to them, she kept getting itchy, but whenever she told her guards they didn't believe her, seemed to think she was just saying it to make them stop giving them to her, so she stuck the fake fur at the other end of the room, in a corner which she never visited, while touching as little of it as she could. He paws were itching terribly, but she'd just have to live with it. And now she had to figure out if she had a telepathic link with the other Yellowfang, however she got here or came to be.

Great. Just great.

Right now, she was seated in the middle of her smiley carpet thinking as hard as she could about the other Yellowfang, words floating to the surface of her metaphorical ocean which was really her mind, words like "Yellowfang's telepathy activate!" which all seemed ridiculous. Why did she even bother…

That's when she felt it. A little nudge in the back of her mind, or was it the bottom of her ocean? Pulling her in, like a whirlpool…

* * *

><p><strong>It's been exactly a month since I last updated this. Gah. But it's here now. I pulled it out of my brain.<strong>

**Okay, when I finish the Yellowfang and Jayfeather arc, you get to watch another couple of warriors get put in the Asylum and puzzle their way out. Won't that be fun?**

***waits for reviews* I'm just going to sit here, waiting… Please review. There's almost sixty of em.**

**-Leafdapple3**


	12. Chapter 12

**It's been a while. Nice to see you again. I'm sorry this took three months.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Jayfeather was frantically darting around his cell. <em>Have to- Find! Find- Have to find- CANDLES! <em>He dashed to his bed a dug around the covers, then ripped it open to check for his secret stash. Gone. _Gone. All gone. Need-candles-_ He raced to his arm chair and checked for his second stash. Nothing. He needed his candles.

He leapt ferociously at the smiley rug, tearing it apart...

There were candles. He hadn't known it but there were candles, but there were. He was about to light one, when he realized he had a problem. There was nothing to light a fire with. The tom screamed in anger dashing around his cell again in a desperate attempt to find some matches, or flint, or anything! Need- Candles- Need matches!

Finally, he ran to the wall where he knew his computer was plugged into the wall, and electricity sparked, starting a fire. The blind cat dashed back to his candles, picking them up and running back to the fire, which was growing ever bigger. He dropped the wonderful scented light sources on the ground . . . But because he couldn't see, he accidentally dropped them in the fire, and they started to melt. "NO! CANDLES!" the medicine cat screeched, running in circles as if it would help. Which it did not. After a few more panicked circles he realized he could not smell the candles anymore. They were gone. Jayfeather collapsed, sobbing something or other about his precious ruined candles, but had to get back up again when he realized that if he didn't get out of the way soon, he'd be burned to a crisp and never escape this candle-deprived prison.

* * *

><p>Yellowfang (the sane one) sighed after an hour of waiting for some sort of distraction, then pulled some stevia leaves out of her pocket (it was made from her matted fur). As there was no fire of any sort with which she could burn the leaves, she simply set them on the floor and stared until she got bored, at which point she picked the leaves up and stuffed them back in her pocket of matted fur.<p>

Then she smelled - and felt - something. Heat. Smoke. Fire!

She looked around frantically for the source, and realized it was coming from Jayfeather's cell. The medicine cat dashed to her cell door, scratching it and trying to make as much noise as possible, yowling and screeching. No one seemed to notice, however, and the room kept getting hotter and smokier.

Then the fire came into view.

* * *

><p>The Yellowfang who <em>is<em> crazy was pulled out of her metaphorical whirlpool when she smelled smoke. And felt heat. Fire. This was great! Now she could burn those stevia leaves that she had been unable to burn when she had went back in time after going insane after accidentally eating her stevia leaves and being burned by this very fire. Maybe now she was going to die.

She watched as the wall separating her and Jayfeather crumbled, and the tom came running at her. "Run!" he yowled.

The insane cat from the future grinned, even though cats can't grin. "Don't worry. You'll escape. Yellowfang will go insane after swallowing her stevia leaves and attempting to fix her fur after it got burned. Oh, and it'll be your fault."

"Why?" The medicine cat stopped.

"Because you just asked me that question instead of running to her cell and shoving her out of the way."

Jayfeather's unseeing eyes widened, and he dashed around in circles, then happened to dash through a hole in the fire by accident.

The insane Yellowfang continued to grin, even though cats can't grin, as the fire enveloped her.

Jayfeather's POV

He dashed in the direction he thought sane Yellowfang's cell was. He went the way and ended up bursting into Ashfur's cell (his fur had turned into ashes because of the fire) and dashing back out again. This time he _did _end up in sane Yellowfang's cell.

Sane Yellowfang's POV

Yellowfang scrambled away from the door as the door began to crack from the heat. It began to crumble, the fire licking at the holes that appeared in the wall and door. The wall crumbled completely, and Yellowfang tripped, sending her stevia leaves flying out of her pockets. Falling on the sweet plant, she accidentally swallowed it, and felt the fire near her flank.

She coughed, attempting to rid her lungs of the smoke that was flooding the room as her bed was swallowed. Getting up her courage, she dashed through a gap in the fire and into the burning hall. Just before she blacked out, she saw Jayfeather standing over her.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter will be the end off the Yellowfang and Jayfeather arc. The next two cats that will attempt to escape . . . Well, you'll just have to guess.<strong>

**Please review! Reviews will keep me going throughout the weeks that I attempt to write. Threaten me, pester me, I don't care, it makes me want to keep going. Just don't repeatedly say something like "Please update, please update, please update," because that sort of thing is annoying.**

**-Leafdapple3**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here it is! Last chapter of the arc. It's been fun. *sniffles* Also, I'm thinking the the title of the story should change with every arc. What do you think? Should I do that or just put the title of the new arc at the top of every chapter?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>"Psst."<p>

Yellowfang opened her eyes blearily, her vision swimming. "Jayfeather?"

He nodded in response to her question. "We need to get out of here." He flicked his tail at the open doors. They appeared to be in the lobby, for some reason. Honestly, how could anyone be stupid enough to leave two supposedly insane cats in a position where they could easily escape?

She gave a week murmur of assent before climbing to her paws, coughing a little.

"Are you okay?" came Jayfeather's concerned whisper.

The female medicine cat hacked on for a little longer before coughing up a hairball. "I'm fine," she grunted.

He nodded, then ran off towards the doors, which somehow knew the location of. "I'm not even going to wait for you! I can't stand this place a minute longer!"

"Hey!" The she-cat took off after him, somehow overtaking the tom and making it out the doors first.

"Wait, I almost forgot to tell you, don-!"

She didn't hear the rest of the sentence. By that time the old medicine cat had already traveled too far.

**Jayfeather's POV**

"-I almost forgot to tell you, don't try to groom yourself!"

He wasn't sure if she heard, because she didn't acknowledge his words. He could only hope . . . Oh well. If he handed succeeded, maybe his past self would.

And with that thought in mind, he padded off to his clinic, unaware that the past would continue to repeat itself, despite his best efforts.

But the chapter doesn't end here. No, first we need to follow Jayfeather back to his clinic.

Jayfeather padded along the streets until he reached his living space, smiling at the house-clinic combo where he lived. Of course, he couldn't see it, he just recognized its scent. "I wish I could see it . . ." he muttered. After giving it a minute of thought, he opened his eyes.

"Wait a minute . . . I could see this whole time? I guess that explains how I knew what my room looked like back at the asylum." He glanced at his house a did a double-take. His place. His beautiful living place. Was covered in smiley posters. "WHO DID THIS?!" he screeched to no one in particular. "WHO DARES DEFILE THE CLINIC OF JAYFEATHER? ANSWER ME, YOU DEMON!"

His neighbor, an old cat named Mousefur, stuck her head out of her window with a growl. "Be quiet! Some bubbly she-cat with yellow fur started taping those all over your house a few weeks ago, about the time you went missing. Now go away, I'm trying to sleep." She slammed her window shut before opening it again. "Oh yeah, since when could you see?" She closed it again.

Jayfeather huffed and turned back to his house. "I'd better get started," he muttered. He started taking down the posters, though he was slowed down considerably because every time he pulled one down, he started clawing it to pieces. When he finally did finish, he entered the place. Only to find it was full of smiley stickers.

This was going to be a long day.

**Yellowfang's POV**

The old cat didn't stop running until she was a few miles away from the asylum, at which point she hid in an alley. She turned around and came face to face with the homeless guy who hung around the city. Also one of the few people she didn't mind too much. "Hello, Purdy."

"Hey, Yellowface! I was wonderin' when you'd come 'round. Almost thought you wouldn' come back."

She huffed. "_Some_ people decided that I was insane and got me stuck in an asylum. Jayfeather and I managed to escape when my room caught fire."

The old cat nodded. "Yes, I thought somethin' like that might 'appen. Would the asylum you speak of 'appen to be Smiley's Smiley Mental Asylum of Smilines? I was sent there once, su'm about me tellin' too many stories. See, I was jus' walkin' along, tellin' a story to Angel here-" He gestured vaguely to an empty bit of air. "-When some cats in Smiley uniforms came up and took me to a buildin'. They didn' seem to be able to see Angel." He gestured at the bit of air again. "I spent 'bout a year there before I managed to escape when my room caught fire. 'Course, by that time my house 'ad been sold off to some upwalker an' I became 'omeless. . . ."

Yellowfang tuned him out at this point. She was used to his storytelling, and the vague gesturing in the direction of 'Angel'. "I'd better get going, Purdy, make sure _my_ house hasn't been sold to an upwa- twoleg. Bye." She padded away. Purdy didn't seem to notice, still enraptured in his own story.

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it! The last one. We will miss these characters, but at least we get new ones! Of course, you won't find out which ones next update. I'm going to be doing something else then.<strong>

**I've published a one-shot for Harry potter, if you're interested, called Silencing Charms. Please check it out!**

**Please give me your opinion on the whole changing the name of the story thing, I want to know what the readers think about it. And also, leave a review, even if you don't give me your opinion on it! I'm trying to reach 70.**

**-Kareha**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm back with the next chapter! On a role, here! I just can't stop writing this. I'm having too much fun.**

_**!ALERT! The title and cover of this story will be changed next update. You have been warned.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Hollyleaf sighed as she put down the video game controller. She had just been called to wash the dishes, and absolutely <em>would not <em>break anymore Rules. Even if it was in a life-or-death situation.

Ten minutes later her mom drove her to her Psychiatrist. After a little test to see if she belonged in an asylum with her brother, she had been signed up for therapy sessions. During the last few weeks that she had been taking them, her resolve to follow the Rules had grown. The psychiatrist, Littlecloud, seemed to think this was a bad thing, for some reason. She'd heard him discussing it with Leafpool. She wasn't eavesdropping, of course, she just happened to be passing by . . . yes, just passing by, because spying was against the Rules. . . .

By the time counseling had finished and she had gotten home, it was time to make dinner. Unfortunately, they got home one minute late.

"LIONBLAZE!" she shrieked. "YOU HAVEN'T STARTED MAKING DINNER! This is bad, this is really, really bad. The whole universe has been thrown off balance! And it's all YOUR FAULT! If _Crowfeather _hears about this, he'll- he'll-" At this point she started screaming incoherently while Lionblaze stared at her over the top of his sports magazine. "Er . . . Sorry?"

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT, MOUSEBRAIN! WE'LL BE PUNISHED AND MY WHOLE SCHEDULE WILL BE THROWN OFF BALANCE! I swore a vow to myself that I'd never break it . . . But look what you've done-!"

"Fine, fine, I'll start dinner-"

He was cut off by Leafpool. "Don't worry, I started making it as soon as we got home. Really, Lionblaze, you should know better than to leave dinner for later, you know how your sister's OCD can get."

The warrior sighed. "I lost track of the time. You don't have to freak out about it. What are we having for dinner, anyway?"

"Fried mouse," Hollyleaf replied. "It says so on the calendar. _It's the Rules._ If we don't have fried mouse tonight, we'll be breaking the Warrior Code."

"I get it, you don't have to remind me." He buried his face in his magazine again.

_Three minutes later._

"Lionblaze, please clear the table of your football gear."

"In a minute."

"SHE SAID TO DO IT! YOU'VE GOT TO OR YOU'LL BE BREAKING THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf shrieked.

"Just let me finish the darn page, rule freak!"

"But-"

"My coach told me to catch up on things."

She blinked. "Oh no. Obeying the coach is a Rule, but so is obeying you mother. Dear StarClan, WHAT DO WE DO?"

Leafpool peered out the window. "There's a sign. That cloud says he should obey his coach." She pointed out a soccer ball-shaped cloud.

Hollyleaf collapsed on a chair that had its back to the door, which opened. She turned and peeked over the top of it.

Crowfeather, who had just entered, froze. "Er . . . Honey I'm home?" he croaked.

Hollyleaf gave an approving nod and sat down properly, shuddering at the thought of what had happened yesterday.

_**Flashback**_

_Crowfeather opened the door and dragged his muddy paws across the floor, exhausted. "Work was terrible today!" he moaned. "I was sent on the dawn patrol, and . . ."_

_Hollyleaf didn't hear the rest. She was too busy staring and the mud stains adorning the formerly pristine white carpet. After a few heartbeats of horror, she jumped on her father with a battlecry. "WHEN YOU GET HOME YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY 'HONEY, I'M HOME!' NOT MOAN ABOUT YOUR HORRIBLE DAY AND DRAG YOUR PAWS ON THE FLOOR! The Rules! Not wiping your feet is against the Rules!" She collapsed on the floor and started crying._

_**End Flashback**_

She did not want a repeat of that horrific evening.

Crowfeather's POV

He had been careful to wipe his paws outside the door, and had remembered what to say in order to keep Hollyleaf from tackling him. Now he just had to play it safe, so as not to suffer her wrath. Or maybe he could just tie her to her chair . . . No, no, she would just start screaming. But if he gagged her too . . . No. That would count as child abuse. If only those darn kids would just move out, like Jayfeather had. Of course, he'd been sent to an asylum, but still.

"So, what's for dinner?" he asked.

Leafpool put a large plate in the center of the table. "Fried mouse."

A few minutes later saw the family sitting around the table, quietly chewing. For some reason Hollyleaf was glaring at Crowfeather. He looked up.

"Is something wrong, Hollyleaf?"

"You're supposed to say thank you and compliment the meal," she growled. "It's in the Rules."

"Oh. Um . . . It's delicious, Leafpool. You should make it again tomorrow night.

The next moment he found himself on the floor with Hollyleaf punching him in the face. "The calendar says roasted vole is tomorrow's dinner! WE CAN'T HAVE FRIED MOUSE AGAIN UNTIL NEXT WEEK!"

* * *

><p><strong>Can you see why Jayfeather moved out? The household of insanity is not a pleasant place to live. :P<strong>

**Also, would anyone like to see something about Purdy's time in the Asylum?**

**Next chapter, you lovely readers will discover who the next cats of the asylum are! Please review, I'd like this story to catch up with Hypnosis (97 reviews).**

**Anyone want to guess who the next main characters will be?**

**-Kareha**


	15. Chapter 15

**This (shorter than I would have liked) chapter is brought to you be Kareha, formerly Leafdapple3. **_**!ALERT! Title and cover change.**_

**Ready to discover who the new 'insane buddies' are? You'd better be, because they're being introduced this chapter. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Cinderpelt padded down the hall to the door labeled 'Interrogation Room'. Another insane cat was waiting inside, but she was starting to get tired of this job. Perhaps if she applied for another and quit . . . But not now, there was work to be done. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open.<p>

Why was it that every time she did this, she felt the same way?

Oh well. It's not like it mattered. Dealing with the possibly insane wasn't scary at all. Nope, nothing frightening about it.

She entered the room and sat down across from the gray cat sitting at the table. The light gray table in the dark gray room. "Your neighbors tell me that you have picked up a habit of forgetting how old people are, have serious mistrust issues, and have lashed out at several cats for normal things such as stealing your flowers. For these reasons, it has been decided that you should be put through a test to determine whether or not you are sane."

The she-cat nodded.

"We will be giving you several objects based on your behaviour. Here." She handed her a Firestar plushy.

The cat blinked. "Oh, Firepaw, what are you doing here?"

Cinderpelt scribbled something on her clipboard, before giving the cat some stolen flowers. She stared at them for a moment before shrugging. "I had them replaced."

More scribbling.

A miniature version of the old ThunderClan camp earned a smile, and a model of a white cat elicited a few tears.

A photo of Tigerstar.

A silver-flecked muzzle pressed up against the picture. "TIGERSTAR!" Bluestar shrieked. "HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY CAR? I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! You're going to face an inquiry at court, and it's entirely MY FAULT!" At this point her words dissolved into evil laughter.

Cinderpelt exited the room. "That's another one for the Asylum."

* * *

><p>Cinderpelt took a deep breath, staring at the door to the Interrogation Room in front of her. She was particularly nervous about this patient.<p>

Then she had entered the room and sat in front him. All done in a rush. She couldn't wait to get this over with.

"From your . . . friends, I gather that you have homicidal tendencies. Is that true?"

He nodded with a smirk. "I tried apprenticing kits too early, a lot of them died. It was great. And one day I drove WindClan out of their territory-"

"Brokenstar," Cinderpelt interrupted. "I understand that you like to brag about these acts. Why is that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He gaped at her blank stare. "Because I'm _awesome._"

Cinderpelt face-pawed. "Brokenstar, I need a real reason. You can't excuse your bragging with 'because I'm awesome'."

He sighed. "Fine. If you really want to know, I want all of the ThunderClan cats to hear and get angry at me. That way, I can fight them!" By this time he was standing on the table with a paw thrust into the air.

Cinderpelt tossed a Fireheart plushy at him, which he caught on reflex. And he gasped.

"This is the cat who ruined my life!" he yowled. "He thwarted my evil plans, forcing me to leave my stupid Clan! And then, I was taken in . . . by _his_ Clan! The worst, the most shameful punishment! Why!" He collapsed on the table, having fainted.

Cinderpelt carefully maneuvered him so that he was sitting on the chair again before leaving the room. "Another one for the mental ward."

This was it, the end of the line. She was getting a new job.

* * *

><p><strong>Bwahahahahaha! Was anyone expecting that? I decided to give hints leading up to Bluestar's reveal. If any of you noticed.<strong>

**I couldn't resist that Harry Potter (don't own) reference at the end of Bluestar's segment. XD And then with Brokenstar, he was acting like Prussia from Hetalia and then Kenpachi from Bleach (don't own either).**

**Please review! The only one to review last time were the lovely Eradrin (Writing With A Smile), and my twin Leefy (Loopy Leefy). :( But I don't want to be nagging, or anything. I'm just excited because how many reviews this story has as opposed to the number of chapters! So review! Constructive criticism is welcome, and I have probably not motivated you to use your keyboard.**

**-Kareha**


	16. Chapter 16

**You guys are so great - Really? 75 reviews? AND SIXTEEN CHAPTERS? :D If anyone was wondering, Bluestar truly is insane. Here's the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Bluestar sat on her Desk, swinging her legs. She was bored. Really, reeaally bored.<p>

No one was there to steal her flowers. In fact, she didn't even _have _flowers to be stolen. Such a shame. Even worse than that was the fact that despite there being a Desk, there was no computer to smash. She'd already destroyed the bed, the chairs, and the rug. The paper within the Desk had been torn to shreds, and there hadn't been a pen or a pencil. The Smilies probably thought it was dangerous, or something. Like splintered bed posts weren't sharp. It seemed the guards were as stupid as the smiley faces on their uniforms.

Speaking of smiley faces, that was the reason why the rug, the furniture, and the paper had all been destroyed. The rug was one giant smiley, the paper had faded smilies all around the edges, and the furniture was covered in a pattern of them, all overlapping each other so you couldn't see the the secrets the evil faces hid. Actually, the furniture had been destroyed because she thought there was treasure in it, but it turned out that there was none. That's beside the point, though.

The Desk was the only thing that never smiled. It was beautiful. That's why she was sitting on it.

At the moment, she was just looking around to make sure there were no more smilies to destroy. Fortunately, there were none in sight, which meant no more exorcize. Which, in turn, meant boredom, A very, very large dose of it.

Fortunately, this boredom was ended when Brokenstar fell out of the sky. Or from the ceiling. Whatever.

"Hello, Brokenstar! Having a good morning? Or afternoon? I know I am. I got to destroy a bunch of smilies, then I was bored, and then you came to visit! So I'm not bored anymore!"

Just as she finished her sentence, more smiley-patterned furniture was wheeled in by the Smiley guards.

She tore it apart immediately, along with the smiley badges on the guards' uniforms. After that she was locked in a separate room inside her room that was full of smiley faces. Was this supposed to be a reward for getting rid of the evil smileys that were plaguing this place? Because really, it was more like torture. Hadn't they noticed that this little room was also full of smiley faces? Or maybe that was why she was put in here. They wanted the Mighty Bluestar to destroy them.

Well, they'd picked the right cat for the job.

* * *

><p>Jayfeather sat in his room, staring at a candle. He was talking to it. "You see, I don't know how to broadcast the fact that I have not been kidnapped and am, in fact, alive and ready for business." He sighed. "And then there's the fact that I just escaped from an Asylum. Why haven't they sent someone out for me yet? It just doesn't make sense. . . ."<p>

The doorbell rang, and he set down the candle, blew it out, and padded downstairs to answer the swinging slab of wood. It was Mousefur. Not the slap of wood, that was a door, the cat beyond the slab of wood was Mousefur.

"My joints are aching, just give me a remedy."

* * *

><p>Yellowfang padded along the street. She knew that her house was just a couple blocks away, and in the process of going there she bumped into several . . . friends. Fellow medicine cats, like Littlecloud, Runningnose, and Barkface were just a few of the lot.<p>

There was her house! Now she'd be able to make her existence known to her neighbors. Or show them she was still alive. However you put it.

But when she finally made it to her living place, she had to stop and gape, staring at the sign resting in her front yard. _Sold_. _My house has been sold. To a twoleg. This is the end. I might as well join Purdy in the streets. And I really need to groom my fur._ She gave it a single lick before padding off to live with Purdy.

Perhaps he could introduce her to Angel.

* * *

><p><strong>I think that in every chapter I'll have one specific word that is always capitalized. For no reason at all. :P It's fun, like with Hollyleaf and the Rules.<strong>

**From now on there will be side-segments about Yellowfang and Jayfeather until the aftermath of their break-out wears off. Also, to repeat my question, would anyone be interested in side-segments about Purdy's time in the asylum?**

**Looks like the first signs of Yellowfang's insanity are showing up. Yay.**

**So, how should Jayfeather broadcast his alive-ness? I haven't figured it out yet, so feel free to leave suggestions. Speaking of which, please review! Must . . . Get . . . To . . . 80 rEViEwS! Yup. :D So, click the button, type a few words, and I will give you many birds. Or maybe a plushie of the cat of your choice. *shrugs* Maybe I'll even give you a cookie. Who knows?**

**-Kareha**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

* * *

><p>Bluestar broke the little room full of Smilies quite easily. It was actually an accident, she'd meant to only destroy the Smilies. Oh well.<p>

Beyond the Smiley wall was Brokenstar, who was in a corner crying about being alone. "Um . . . Are you okay, Brokenstar? You seem lonely."

The leader looked up, his eyes blue and puffy, which caused Bluestar to jump back in shock.

"W-why are your eyes the color of my name?" she stammered.

"It's because . . . Whenever the people around me are happy . . ." He gestured to the wall, which was a very large Smiley face. ". . . I turn blue. Like . . . a bird."

Bluestar blinked. "I think I know what you mean."

He nodded, still teary eyed.

"Well," Bluestar said, turning to look at the wall. "This Smiley isn't going to kill itself."

Just as she was unsheathing her claws . . . she fell asleep.

Brokenstar blinked in surprise before padding over and poking her. No response. "Huh." He glanced around and spotted the Smiley wall. "Why. . . ."

* * *

><p>That evening, Jayfeather stalked out of his house with a multitude of candles and a box of matches.<p>

By the end of the night, several candles with his name on them had been left on doorsteps. Like scarface, if you get what he means. In the process, he'd managed to drive Spottedleaf insane when he started cackling madly outside of her door with a lit candle under his face.

There was a park in the most populated area of town, and that's where he used the remaining match sticks. After all the trees, plus the wood chips in the playground, had been set on fire, he sat at the edge of the flame monster with his stick; crowns made of candle wax rested upon their heads.

Not that Stick had a head.

"I HAVE RETURNED!" he yowled. "VISIT MY CLINIC FOR PROPER TREATMENT, THE OTHER DOCTORS ALL USE FOX DUNG!" He then got up and padded away, leaving the fire to burn itself out. ("As if that'll work," said Stick.)

* * *

><p>Yellowfang padded gloomily into the alley. "Hi, Purdy," she muttered.<p>

"Hello! What's got you so gloomy tonight? I remember a time when I was depressed; you see, my girlfrie-"

"Can I live with you and Angel, Purdy? My house was sold to an upwalker. . . ."

He nodded in understanding. "How generous of you, I thought you ignored Angel when she was askin' you to sleep over for the night."

Yellowfang turned to an empty patch of air. "Sorry Angel."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Extra: Cinderpelt's New Job<strong>_

Cinderpelt padded into the Starless Dead Forest Mental Asylum and was immediately greeted at the reception desk by a transparent she-cat, who looked rather grumpy.

"You the new cat?" she grunted, examining her see-through claws.

"Um . . . yes?" She glanced at the walls, noting that they were completely black with dead trees painted on them.

"Right. I'll have Blossomfall give you a tour."

Cinderpelt looked surprised. "Blossomf-"

She was cut off by a loud blaring noise as the clear she-cat pressed an incredibly dangerous-looking Big Red Button.

And then Blossomfall fell out of a hole in the ceiling. She gave herself a thorough grooming (it lasted about ten minutes) before straightening up, Smiling, and saying in a very rehearsed voice, "Welcome! My name is Blossomfall, and I will be showing you the building today! Follow me!"

Cinderpelt blinked, but the other she-cat was already padding down a random corridor and giving a commentary. "-the bathrooms are right over there, but don't use them! The toilets are overflowing with the slimy black water that is everywhere here!"

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, this chapter isn't very long. I'm sorry, I had writers block and I wanted to post this chapter on the story's anniversary. I made it.<strong>

**I'd also like to say that I'm proud of myself. Why? Cinderpelt's new job! :D Anyway, see you around maybe.**

**Credit for Jayfeather's 'proclamation of alive-ness' goes to Shademoon the Forgotten Soul. :)**

**-The Leaf on Italy's Head**


End file.
